Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Xes gone bad (2)

Am realizat ca imi pot formula usor un sistem de masurare al partidelor de sex. Daca oricare din intrebarile din lista urmatoare se poate formula in timpul sau in urma unei partide de sex, e CLAR vai de steaua ei.

1. Esti sigur ca nu o sa se rupa in doua chestia aia?
2. Realizezi ca alea sunt doar coapsele mele, nu?
3. Oooookay, si cum mine cum ramane?
4. Aia e toata?!?!?!
5. Par sa ma simt bine?!
6. Ma mai gadili mult, sau putem sa trecem si la treburi mai serioase?
7. A, tu esti deja inauntru??
8. Oare ce face pretenu-mio acum?
9. Toti cm aia si tot degeaba?!
10. Ce ar fi sa incetezi sa imi mai lingi coapsele si sa te muti mai spre nord?
11. Cine dracu m-o fi pus sa ma iau de asta???
12. Aha! Deci tu chiar crezi ca faci treaba mai buna decat mine?
13. Mai ai mult?

Mentionez ca toate aceste intrebari mi le-a ridicat una si aceeasi persoana, in decurs de aproximativ o ora jumate. Cea mai lunga ora si jumatate din viata mea.

Si ca tot veni vorba. Daca te prinzi din primele 5 minute ca o sa fie nasol, cum scapi elegant? Feedback welcomed here :D

Conclusion: Daca tot ai reputatie ca fti tot ce prinzi, macar fa dracului un pustiu de bine omenirii, si fte bine!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Anevrisme - part 4

"Buna, Laura, sunt Adrian, am 19 ani si vreau sa stiu daca pot sa-mi dau frau liber imaginatiei. Adica as vrea sa fac sex intr-un copac, eu chiar vorbesc serios, sa nu ma iei in gluma. Dar nu stiu cum sa-i spun prietenei mele."

Absolutely NO COMMENT.
Da' e bine ca Laura e de acord cu sexul in copac. Imi da curaj. Cred ca am sa ii scriu cat de curand.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Anevrisme - part 3

Good God, I really AM gonna get a stroke one of these days, and fk knows I AM gonna hold HER responsible for this.

There this unbelievably beautiful and illegally young woman, singing worldwide how much of a filthy whore she is. And no, I do not mean the complimenting side of "filthy whore". Now tell me, how THE FUCK would you go singing about yourself cheating on your man? And then again, what would the expectances be? "Sugar, marry me, don't believe that silly song that got me millions. I really do NOT cheat on my man."

Cause sure, that is absolutely believable, since, by the beginning of the chorus she actually feels sorry. Bitch, you'd better be sorry. You'd better be sorry you had this just so brilliant idea of going and sell yourself so cheaply. And yeah, saying "I don't wanna do this anymore ", "I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be.... a murderer " certainly excuses having just uttered "Cause I know that he knows im unfaithful And it kills him inside To know that i am happy with some other guy I can see him dyin' ", and all of these while, of course, bending and stretching and rolling over that goddamn piano.

Oh yeah, the piano. How could such a deep, lovingly, blue, sad song, miss a piano? What difference does it make what words come out of your mouth, if the piano is there?!
"I'm about to fuck you all up! I'm going out, and it is NOT for grocery, you shit-eater morron! I'm going to see this guy and he's gonna fuck my brains out, but hey, check out this piano, eh?"

And last but not least, how much of an IDIOT would you have to be to actually STATE that you are unfaithful? We all are, bitch, but you don't see any of us going on a world tour just to make sure everyone knows this? You might as well stick a goddamn bumper sticker on your forehead saying "I suck dick. ANYONE'S dick!"

Geez, me gots to go now. My nose is bleeding too heavily, and I might get my most beautiful white dress stained. And that would be like the final drop to actually sell one kidney, fly my ass to the States, get me a gun and shoot this whore's brains out.

PS: :index_crouched_on_both_hands:

Is this guy LEGAL?!?!?!

E oare legal sa existi in conditiile prezentate mai jos?!?!?!?!

[15:16] vietnam_ro2005: datimi si mie add ionileea
[15:16] amelia: nu
[15:18] vietnam_ro2005: VEDETI CA ALA ESTE ID LUI SORMEA....SE PLICTISEA SI EA ionileea
[15:19] amelia: si vreau sa stiu asta pt ca?!? nu mai da mass-uri tembele
[15:20] vietnam_ro2005: somrea
[15:20] vietnam_ro2005: draga
[15:20] vietnam_ro2005: stai chill
[15:21] amelia: dar puishor, nu ma intereseaza, si ma indoiesc sincer ca ii pasa cuiva de id-ul surorii tale. ca de altfel de faptul ca te-ai tuns cu breton sau de faptul ca te-ai dus sa mananci. we simply DO NOT CARE
[15:21] vietnam_ro2005: me nedder
[15:21] vietnam_ro2005: dar ma picit
[15:22] vietnam_ro2005: tu de ce estki aja de recalcitranta
[15:22] vietnam_ro2005: indubitabil ca te supara ceva
[15:22] amelia: indubitabil? =)) stai cu dictionarul dupa tine, puiu?
[15:22] vietnam_ro2005: da....daca zici tu...aja tre sa fie...te simti lezata de faptulm asta?
[15:23] amelia: sunt recalcitranta pentru ca de cand m-ai adaugat, nu am primit decat massuri UBER Inteligente de la tine, care ma cam enerveaza, ca sa fiu sincera
[15:23] amelia: ah, da
[15:23] amelia: imi lezezi inteligenta, day by day
[15:24] vietnam_ro2005: scuze ca sunt grobian....
[15:24] vietnam_ro2005: dar tu de ce stai pe inv ?daca intri online...te parsifleza lumea, sau?
[15:25] amelia: ah, da, ma pErsifleaza, si nu suport. traiesc cu complexe de inferioritate vizibile, si de asta ma ascund. te-ai gandit ca sunt inv pt tine, geniule?!
[15:26] vietnam_ro2005: esti insolanta acuma
[15:26] amelia: insolEnta
[15:26] amelia: puiu, ia un dictionar inainte sa te apuci sa vorbesti cu mine in termeni de DDN

ce ar urma aici, ar fi un shitty log care nu merita mentionat, insa finalul, oh, finalul...

[15:32] amelia: adios, chiquito
[15:32] vietnam_ro2005: no abl espaniol
[15:32] vietnam_ro2005: abla*
[15:33] amelia: www.googleityoumorron.com
[15:34] vietnam_ro2005: nu exista pagina
[15:34] amelia: no shit sherlock. si ti-a luat tot minutul asta ca sa te prinzi? = ))

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Anevrisme - part 2

Anevrism 1: 84% dintre barbati marturisesc ca nu-i deranjeaza sa aiba o relatie cu o femeie care cistiga mai mult decit ei. Zice noul meu prieten.

Hai nu zau... o_O Si restul de 16% ce fac? Nu raspund la chestionar pentru ca sunt prea ocupati sa chiar cheltuie salariul nevestii?

Anevrism 2: Cica sunt credula, conform Quiz-ului.